Archived Story

Write Again … Please, remain inside your vehicle

Published 9:20pm Monday, December 10, 2012

My exceptionally good idea of several years ago, that of having a community-wide Easter egg hunt on our “spread,” never came to fruition. A shame.
You may remember, we were going to hide the eggs in the north and south pastures on, under, beside, nearby the many cow patties provided by our prolific ladies, Gladys Mae, and her daughter Babe. These big bovines are prodigious food processors.
Having the kids hunt the eggs while barefoot was going to add a special element to the endeavor. You know, squeals of delight, and plenty of toe squishes.
Alas, the “Great Hunt” never came to pass. Just like far too many marvelous ideas.
Now, I’ve come up with yet another grand project.
We can have a living creche — manger scene — right under and beside our cow condo’s (barn) extended shelter roof. A perfect venue.
Someone can handle the main gate (actually, the only one), and we’ll set up cones to aid in the drive-through (drive-by). We’ll suggest that folks remain in their vehicles. (The cow patties, remember?)
Now, for critters to attend the Holy Family we can be a bit creative.
Of course Gladys Mae and Babe will be there. Maybe Sally’s brother Mayhew can lend his horse to the scene. We just don’t have any camels handy.
I’ll bring Beau over. He’s a Boston terrier. Azzy would be a nice touch as well. She’s Sally’s niece’s rescue dog, that stays with us in our pen, weather permitting, when her “mother” is at work. Beau doesn’t take kindly to other canines on his turf. We’ll have to work on that.
Montgomery, a rivershore dweller, has chickens in an old stable near him that he might let us borrow for a few nights. I think our five rescue felines would be fine for the scene. You know, all creatures great and small.
Now, as for who will portray Mary and Joseph — and baby Jesus — we’re “studying” on that. It can’t be just anybody, you know? As for angels, I don’t think we’ll be able to deliver on that.
Oh. The three wise men. Well, now. This is something to consider carefully. A challenge, you might say. Selecting those to portray the sage souls who came from afar might be a bit daunting. I mean, this is Beaufort County, you know. Think I’ll stay away from county commissioners and the like. Any suggestions?
So, lest anyone — anyone, that is, who is so provencial, fundamentalist, and deals with things on an inflexible, literal basis — takes offense, please let me assure you that no sacrilege is intended. Absolutely none. If you know me, then you know that to be the truth. So lighten up, you hear?
Besides, my Maker has (I believe) a sense of humor, if I may so personify the deity.
Stay tuned. If our “stable staffing” works out, load up your cars and trucks and come pay us a visit.
If not, then maybe next year.

Editor's Picks

Pay raise proposal leaves too many questions

On April 5, Gov. Pat McCrory announced his proposal for an average 5-percent pay raise for teachers, as well as larger bonuses across the board, ... Read more

Higher expectations required

It’s time to vote again. Today represents a monumental day in which all citizens can exercise their right to vote. Many don’t. Primaries often have ... Read more