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Write Again … How to clean a pachyderm

Published 5:19pm Monday, June 17, 2013

Now, it would seem to me that those of us who write opinion pieces in newspapers should feel an obligation, at least occasionally, to provide pertinent information and facts for our readership.

So, it is in this spirit of public service that I offer you, kind reader, the following nuggets of wisdom.  I am hopeful that such information will be interesting and useful.

And no, don’t feel you have to thank me.  I would be derelict in my journalistic endeavors if I didn’t do this for you.  I mean, this is some important information I am imparting. Stuff you need to know. 

So, here goes.

The parking meter was invented in North Dakota.

Des Moines has the highest per capita Jell-O consumption in the U.S.

There are only three animals with blue tongues.  They are the black bear, the chow-chow dog and the blue-tongue lizard.

Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.

The names of all continents end with the same letter that they start with, e.g. Asia, Europe.

There is a word in the English language with only one vowel that occurs six times: indivisibility.

Cats in Halifax, Nova Scotia, have a very high probability of having six toes.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used-furniture dealer.

There are many more of these enlightening tidbits, but I’ll mention just one more. I saved it for the last because of its importance.

Murphy’s Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.

Those of you who have a pet elephant will welcome this helpful information, I’m sure.

I mean, who wants a dirty elephant hanging around the house and yard?

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