Thank you, kind readers, those of you who on occasion inquire about the status of our large ladies.

You know. Our bovine beauties. Our food processors, who each day prodigiously produce impressive amounts of grade A, super deluxe plant and garden nutrients. None better.

These rescue girls, mother and daughter, have been with us since 2004. Gladys Mae was around two when they came to live with us — well, next to us — and Babe was just that, a baby.

A friend recently gave us some genuine Ashe County cow seeds.

That’s right, cow seeds.

The little packet comes with explicit directions. On one side is written: “Grow Your Own Herd (Herd Starter Kit) — Directions on UDDER side.”

On the back are the directions:

“1. To start herd, it is important to follow directions to the letter.

“2. On the first full moon, after the last frost, plant in sunny spot.

“3. Plant seeds right side up, or cows will grow upside down.

“4. Be patient! Cows need time to grow.

“5. For best results, moo softly while waiting.”

Just your basic, common sense cow growing advice.

Should you ever be out our way, please feel welcome to come by and speak to our “girthful”, full-figured gals. Bring the younguns, children or grandchildren, if you like. Kids really enjoy feeding them a snack.

Now, running our herd — two head — isn’t always easy. In winter we give them a bit of breakfast, as well as their evening meal. Their water trough must always be tended.

In grass growing months one daily dining experience is sufficient.

And, of course, there’s always the matter of keeping their cow condo’s family room mucked out. We deposit their contributions just behind their condo. That in the field we break up and spread a couple of times a year by a dragging operation. That is, I use a section of chain length fence pulled behind my little red truck. Fun.

We buy hay in fairly large quantity a couple of times a year. We supplement their diet with stock feed that comes in pellets. Just a little each day.

Why do you do this, some of you may ask. You know, keep two cows who are going to be allowed to live out their lives in peace, avoiding anyone’s dinner table.

Why not? Just who is going to do it if we don’t?

They give us a sense of peace, of pleasure. It just makes us feel good.

Well. Let me stop here. Those impatient heavy honeys are talking to us, letting us know it’s their suppertime. They can become quite insistent — and loud.

I better get a moove on.

Later.