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I’m in love. Love, y’all. Since March 14, 1999, I’ve been in love with a strange, wild, unpredictable rabbi from Nazareth named Jesus. Maybe you’ve heard of him. You’ve certainly heard of his followers and their proclamations of both love and hate.

It’s strange, isn’t it, that people who follow Jesus somehow still harbor so much hatred in their hearts. It’s strange that some would draw the energy to hate and kill from the same man that I draw the energy to love beyond myself. I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. That’s okay, because I don’t have to understand everything to make a difference in the world. I just have to stay the course.

You might have missed something, however, in what I wrote above. I didn’t say that I ‘love’ Jesus. I said that I’m ‘in love’ with Jesus, and there’s a profound difference. To love something is a relationship of only one direction. But with Jesus, it’s not like that.

No one else in history has changed me so profoundly or made me the best version of myself. I have given over my entire life to this man whom I’ve never met, at least in the traditional sense.

There’s no way around the fact that Christianity is a strange, strange religion because here I am writing about being in love with a preacher who died 2000 years ago. That’s weird, right? Yet, to quote my friend Martin Luther, “Here I stand. I can do no other.” In other words, I can’t be anybody other than myself, and who I am is a person whose life has been made rich, beautiful, and whole by offering up my life to Jesus and allowing him to show me who I can be if I choose to be.

I was a broken teenager when I first met Jesus. I was ready to kill myself because I did not think I was worthy of love. My parents don’t shoulder the blame for this. It was probably the early stages of my depression whispering in my ear. I didn’t think I had purpose, value, or meaning until one spring night in Rocky Mount, NC.

Someone looked into my eyes and told me that God loved me. Someone took my hands and told me that I was a beloved child of God, beautiful to behold. There was nothing I needed to do other than surrender. There was nothing I needed to pay except the cost of releasing all the negativity I had internalized. All I had to do was accept that I was already accepted by Jesus. I fell in love that day, though that love has changed and looks much different than it did when I was a teenager. To this day, I remain haunted by the dangerous memory of Jesus of Nazareth, and I still believe his good news has a lot to offer the world.

I am so, so sorry if you have been harmed by people who claim to follow this God of love. I’m sorry if you have been dehumanized or brutalized by someone flying the flag of the Christian faith. If you have never known Jesus as a friend and a lover who desires nothing but the best for you and for this whole world, then I must say you have never truly known Jesus. If the only thing you know about Christians is how much hate spews forth from our mouths, then I hope this article provides you with a glimpse of what the true affirmations of Jesus Christ can do for you.

Love is a curious thing. It’s what we do when we give ourselves over to someone. That’s love. But love is also a feeling. It can be a warmth inside, a deep sense that someone other than you thinks you are most NON-heinous!

It’s also a mindset, an awareness that the love you give and the love you feel has changed you, transformed you, made you MORE than you were before. My love with my wife has made me soar to heights I never believed possible. She has made me so whole, so complete, so happy. Yet, as much as her love has made me whole, on an even deeper level, that’s what Jesus of Nazareth has done for me, and continues to do for me, always and forever.

Even if I don’t always know exactly what I believe, or when I don’t offer my best self to the world, Jesus still affirms me and calls me beautiful. Even when I do everything I can to distance myself from his call on my life, even then, he seeks me out and finds me. He binds up my brokenness and sets me back on a path toward truth, justice, and a better tomorrow.

If you have found yourself at the end of this article, you’re in for a treat. I’m going to give you the best, most valuable piece of information I have EVER received. Are you ready? Here we go: you are a beloved child of God, beautiful to behold. You deserve to feel loved. That’s the richest wisdom I have, and it costs you nothing other than the price of this paper. Whoever you are, and wherever you are, stay alive. You are worth it. And it’s not just me who thinks so. It’s Jesus.

Chris Adams is the Rector at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church in Washington.