At first I thought “Is this a joke? This lady is putting me on, right?”

Very politely, but business-like, she repeated that which she had just said to me.

“Mr. Houston, my name is ———–, and I’m with the editorial staff

of Time magazine, and we would like to know if you would be interested in writing a weekly column for us.” Lord-a-mercy.

There. She’d said it again. This must be for real.

Trying to gather my wits, I went into my serious, analytical mode. What would the, uh, financial arrangements be, I queried.

She immediately responded, adding this was the standard amount for a new column writer. Then she went on to explain how this figure could increase over time if market research showed it was well received.

Does this initial offer interest me? Whoo, boy.

Stay calm. Control yourself, old fellow. Don’t seem too pleased. Overjoyed. Ecstatic!

In a controlled (I hoped) voice I told her that seemed reasonable, acceptable, for a beginning wage.

She said someone would contact me with all the specifics. The beginning date, desired word count, which day to submit it each week, etc. Also, a contract would be sent to me for my perusal, and if finding the conditions acceptable and as she had laid out for me, I was to sign it and return the original.

Then, a few more bits of light banter, a thank-you from her, and we ended the conversation.

Wow. What do you think of this, reader friends?

Oh. One more thing.

April Fool!

Note – Even if such an opportunity came along our columnist vows he would turn it down out of loyalty to the Daily News. Yeah, sure.