From the shark’s point view, Aug. 26, 2014

Published 8:24 pm Tuesday, August 26, 2014

 Discovery Channel’s recent “Shark Week” programming and the repetitive showings of the four “Jaws” movies on the American Movie Classics and Spike cable networks this summer got me to thinking about the life of a great white shark from the shark’s point of view.

Until “Jaws” came along in 1975, Godzilla, in my opinion, was king of the movie creatures that brought fear to moviegoers. Then came “Jaws” … and the musical theme associated with the shark. Da. Da-da. Da-da-da-da. The increasing speed of that theme throughout the movie served notice the shark was about to attack.

And when actor Roy Scheider, playing the role of Martin Brody, Amityville’s police said, “You’re going to need a bigger boat,” he spoke the truth.

In 1975, “Jaws” had me cringing in my theater seat. This year, I found humor in those “Jaws” movies and “Shark Week.” What would it be like to interview a great white shark? Here goes.

Reporter: “What are you thinking when you swim along a beach where hundreds of people are swimming?”

G.W. Shark: “My first thought is that I’ve found an all-you-can-eat buffet.”

Reporter: “You’ve been depicted in many documentaries as having an appetite for seals.”

G.W. Shark: “Let me set the record straight. Seals are just appetizers.”

Reporter: “You also have a reputation for eating items like license plates, guitars, boots and bottles of wine. Please explain.”

G.W Shark: “If it’s in front of me and I am hungry and I can swallow it, it’s going into my gullet. I am not a finicky eater. As for the wine, I find it helps the digestive process. The trouble with wine is determining if a red wine or white wine goes with boots.”

Reporter: “What’s your view of Hollywood’s portrayal of sharks?”

G.W. Shark: “Well, the ‘Jaws’ movies are fairly accurate, except for implying we hold grudges and seek revenge. As for those movies like “Sharknado,” “Sharknado 2” and “Sharktopus,” give me a break. They just give sharks — and movie producers — a bad name. Hollywood should stick with reality, movies like ‘Godzilla’ and ‘King Kong.’”

Reporter: “Is there anything in the water that scares you?”

G.W. Shark: “Two things — megalodon and a 300-pound woman in a bikini.”


Mike Voss retired from the Washington Daily News in March. On occasion, he assists the newsroom when needed.




About Mike Voss

Mike Voss is the contributing editor at the Washington Daily News. He has a daughter and four grandchildren. Except for nearly six years he worked at the Free Lance-Star in Fredericksburg, Va., in the early to mid-1990s, he has been at the Daily News since April 1986.
Journalism awards:
• Pulitzer Prize for Meritorious Public Service, 1990.
• Society of Professional Journalists: Sigma Delta Chi Award, Bronze Medallion.
• Associated Press Managing Editors’ Public Service Award.
• Investigative Reporters & Editors’ Award.
• North Carolina Press Association, First Place, Public Service Award, 1989.
• North Carolina Press Association, Second Place, Investigative Reporting, 1990.
All those were for the articles he and Betty Gray wrote about the city’s contaminated water system in 1989-1990.
• North Carolina Press Association, First Place, Investigative Reporting, 1991.
• North Carolina Press Association, Third Place, General News Reporting, 2005.
• North Carolina Press Association, Second Place, Lighter Columns, 2006.
Recently learned he will receive another award.
• North Carolina Press Association, First Place, Lighter Columns, 2010.
4. Lectured at or served on seminar panels at journalism schools at UNC-Chapel Hill, University of Maryland, Columbia University, Mary Washington University and Francis Marion University.

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